This is fatherhood by Dice Iida-Klein

The gift of parenthood is the opportunity to form a lasting, intentional, and beautiful relationship where growth and expansion in all areas of love and life are explored and encountered, both by child and parent.

All too often, as I have learned and continue to learn from this ever-changing landscape that is fatherhood, we as human beings “collect” our traumas, triggers, and programming that have been created from our younger years onward. The hope is that you unravel these patterns prior to exposing and projecting them onto your children. Sadly, most of us (myself included) bring our “ways” into the exploration and wonder that is parenthood. Although this is best if avoided, it offers us as human beings an honest way into looking deeper into who we are, not only as parents, but as children and adults.

The relationship between father and child is one of the most important relationships I’ve had the privilege to be a part of. Asking myself and then discovering what it means to be a man in the modern day has been an interesting journey. Learning the importance of feminine divinity and trying to uncover toxic masculinity, thus creating a deeper understanding of the masculine and how to harness these parts of me has become a never-ending process, and one that only truly began once I realized how much I would be influencing my son on a daily basis. Without my son, self-inquiry and reflection may have been a slower process…maybe a process that wouldn’t exist at all? It is through fatherhood that my want to better myself for myself, then for others, took shape and began.

Learning to drop one’s ego and nurture another human being for who they are, not who we want them to be is what fatherhood means to me. Having the tough realization that if I want to see any change in my child’s behavior, both in my company and with others, it begins with me and inside of my heart and mind. As cliche as it may sound, I’m the student just as much as my child is a student with me. The moment I realized my relationship with my son was an equal and level one, was the moment our relationship truly began to take shape. This is fatherhood to me.

Taking time for myself has meant many things throughout the years. At one point that meant having exactly 90-120 minutes to devote myself to a full yoga practice. That then shifted to allowing space for non-movement based practices like pranayama, meditation, etc. The time devoted to myself used to mean one thing, then another thing, and now it means something else entirely. Time for myself nowadays means making sure that the relationships I love and need to take care of are nurtured, including the relationship with myself. If I want to make the time, I will find myself heading to the rock climbing gym, taking a yoga class in a public setting, or sometimes, reading a book at the beach or in a coffee shop. But in order for things to happen, I have my priorities, and the main one is making sure that I keep my relationships full of love and intention. This to me, sets a good example for the little ones I am fortunate enough to call my children. This is parenthood to me.

This is fatherhood.

– Dice-Iida Klein